Restaurant Review: Pizza Orgasmica- Was It Good for You?

The first time I heard about Pizza Orgasmica, a situation similar to the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally instantly popped into my head. I imagined a dining room full of customers moaning and screaming with delight as they stuffed themselves with pizzas, pastas, and beer. Nearly a year had passed and I had forgotten about the place with such an original name, until I saw the flyer for it. I gave in to my curiosity and craving for pizza pie and dialed the delivery number.

I was nervous since this was the first time I had ever called for service, but the voice on the other line was gentle, saying she would fulfill my wildest pizza fantasy. I told her what I wanted: Doggie Style, with pepperoni, salami, sausage, and ground beef; then I told her how I liked it: thin cornmeal crust. She asked me what size and I blushed, responding X-large, 18 inches. “That’ll be $21.06. I’ll take cash or card. We’ll be at the door in an hour.” The next hour was like foreplay: my mouth was watering and my palms became sweaty as I waited. Would this be oral pleasure or just a tease?

Finally the pizza came. Like an animal, I hurriedly ripped open the box, exposing its tantalizing toppings. With reckless abandon I buried my face in a piece of the pie. Not too greasy, each hearty piece was exploding with flavor. Unlike a lot of the others, the toppings didn’t just all taste like pepperoni. Sausage tasted like sausage and salami tasted like salami. After finishing half the box, I sat back thoroughly satisfied. “Wow, next time, my pal Lucky and I are gonna have to try the Menàge A Trois ($24.52 for feta, ricotta, provolone, Monterey, and light parmesan).”

A small part of the fun at Pizza Orgasmica is, of course, the original menu items. Where else can you get a Virgin (cheeseless pizza with spinach, eggplant, tomatoes, and spice potatoes- $15.07 to $20.60) or an Aphrodisiac (seafood pizza with white wine cream sauce, salmon, scallops, and marinated shrimp from $16.22 to $24.52) without fear of offending someone? But more impressive than the names, the pizza combinations are equally, if not more, varied and inventive. If none of their creations don’t impress you (how can you NOT be curious about one day getting a Divorce- a pizza with bleu cheese sauce, anchovies, garlic, onions, and clams from $15.53 to $21.06?), then you can pick from a wide variety of different cheeses (Bianca, provolone and ricotta to name a few), seafood (including salmon and marinated shrimp), and sauces (from bbq to cheddar garlic to refried beans). Their offerings of meat consist of the standard fare, but also include specialties like lemon pepper chicken, Brazilian style chicken, pesto chicken, and linguisa. The most extensive list, however, is their 28 vegetables toppings. I’ve never had capers, hearts of palm, or pinenuts on pizza, but I think I may try it soon (not all together, though). It should be noted, however, that certain items count as two toppings. Extra toppings range from $1.50 (for a small pizza) to $2.25 (for extra large). As if there wasn’t enough variety already, you can also choose between the thin cornmeal crust and Sicilian thick crust.

Pizza Orgasmica is more than a pizza place. They have a their own Orgasmica Original Micro Brew beers as well as a good selection of premium beers on tap (including anchor steam, bass, red hook for $4), domestic bottled beers, and house white and red wines by the glass ($5) or bottle ($15).

Pizza Orgasmica

823 Clement St.

(415) 386-6000

7days a week, from 11-12 (Sun-W),1 (Th), or 2 (F-Sat)